geez...that is quite a thought, quite a view. It is very personal, and though it is not to anybody but yourself I can't help but think about using that to break a relationship with someone. (Ouch. Point taken. Insight gained.)
wonderful, strong, Alive. Welcome to Humanity feeling here.
I pity those that are afraid to live their lives, who are afraid of their humanity, their frailty. Such a fool to think that depression seems to be a friend of mine. A friend I am trying to kill.
And damn if the words [don't just hold my hand, feel my heartbeat], those make me shiver, that is the drop of inspiration for my new dev ID.
Yes, I agree with iksela.
The blurty rhythm really does it for me. It's so honest and spontaneous, you know it's gotta be genuine.
I hope this is a fictitious bit of writing, and you're not really having this problem. If you are, I hope you don't show this to him/her. It could be quite heartbreaking.
The blurty fast breath metering and syllabic style are really appropriate to the emotion of it. Even the sudden heavy handed blind/bind rhyme falls in a place to create a bridge and is thus appropriate in feel and application.
Very good m'friend- especially for an assignment angled at imitating another's style!